Chances Are

If I had the chance to show you how I feel
Would you take a chance and open your eyes.
If I had the chance to touch you like I want
Would you take a chance and close your eyes.

Would you trust me enough

Would you love me back
Would you be the one I dream of

The past is slipping away

Long forgotten are yesterdays.
The future is closing in
But when do we begin?
Soon it will be over
Another day passed
And you’re not here

If I told you what my heart wants to say

Would you take the time and listen to my words
If I wrote you the song my mind wants to sing
Would you stop in time to hear my words

Would you keep an open mind

Would you like what you hear
Would you feel the same as I do


Chances are you won’t
Chances are you don’t
Chances are I’ll look a fool

Chances are I’ll still be blue

Burn the lie

I take the lighter to guide my way,

Burn the webs that criss-cross the decay

The fire burns brighter for a moment

Then quickly fades

Reminds me of our time together that we spent

We were so hot, so intense

That night alone just you and I

Lead to distractions and deceptions

Burn the webs that tangled our lives

Weaved in and out through yours and mine

Tainted our thoughts

Twisted our tongues

Lie against lie which one of us will survive.

Who are we trying to fool?

Why are we trying to deceive?

Both one and the same

No one is going to win this game.

Light these webs

Up in flames

Cleanse our veins

Leave the past behind

Set the future forward

Try to take back our innocence.

Take it back, take it back, take it back…………………………….

Burn the lie...............Burn the lie................

Burn the webs that tangled our lives

Weaved in and out through yours and mine

Tainted our thoughts

Twisted our tongues

Slave to Desire

I’m standing with the distance between us and it seems so safe But the thoughts in my head cause me so much grief I want to get close, lose my inhibitions and see what comes. But I cant take the chance to show you how I feel Rejection is too much to bare if your heart is not there. So I sit, idly by as the time, the hours, the days, the years move on. I’m caught in a trap and all I do is look back at the would of’s the should of’s the could of’s Staring down the hole of an empty bottle realizing regret is my only friend, I cant shake free from its noose, the hold it has powers my every move. My heart wants to speak the beautiful words I feel, but my head knows that wont help me heal. The battle that rages within has become too much for me to hold in. Knowing its wrong to feel so strong, I back down, turn away I go back to the place where I know the only hurt I will feel is my own Because in my dreams you love me, and in my dreams I can be safe to feel for you what I wish I could for real. How is it that you hurt me, but you don’t have a clue. I'm just a slave to my desires, I wish they would come true. Let me hide inside the lies I tell myself to make me believe I make myself believe, but that may not be what I really need.

Searching for the answers inside my head the truth stands out amongst my lies. Time to wake up, snap out of this mess, break free from your chains that bind me.

Yeah you, Yeah you!

I couldn’t be happier watching you walk out that door
Seeing the back of you, is the last thing I want to do with you
Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you!

So many nights I tried to get you to fight
But you wouldn’t You’d rather watch me writhe
Looking at you makes me ill, so I choke down another pill
To get by through the day and night, all I wanted was the fight
Wanted the be all to end all to end this tonight

(Background ) Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Drive me crazy - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Push my buttons - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
But your loving - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Makes me want you - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
I don’t want you - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Drive me crazy - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Outta my head - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Rip my buttons - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you

But your loving
Makes me forget
Everything, that made me hate you……..

You think you have me under your thumb
Think again cuz I’m not that type of girl
To let a guy think he can have me, when he wants to
Think again cuz I’m. Not. That. Girl.

(Background ) Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Drive me crazy - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Push my buttons - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
But your loving - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Makes me want you - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
I don’t want you - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Drive me crazy - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Outta my head - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Rip my buttons - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you

But your loving
Makes me forget
Everything, that made me hate you……..

So now here we are, back where we started
In the same room, in my bedroom
Why do we fight, when we are so right
I cant deny how I feel inside, in this moment

(Background ) Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Drive me crazy - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Push my buttons - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
But your loving - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Makes me want you - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
I don’t want you - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Drive me crazy - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Outta my head - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you
Rip my buttons - Yeah you yeah you, yeah you yeah you

But your loving
Makes me forget
Everything, that made me hate you……..

Make this right

Your deepest wounds revealed
And you know my lips are sealed
My darkest fears brought to light
You keep me close, make it alright

Make this right tonight
Run with me
Through the moon light
Run with me
Give me your hand
And I’ll take yours into mine
We can find a safe place
Where no one can hurt our space
Both our heads filled with so much
We’ll have only each other to judge

Listen to the quiet of the this place
The silence is a welcome release
To the noise that cluttered, gone
The fumbled path we choose for us

Make this right tonight
Run with me
Through the moon light
Run with me
Take me in your arms
And I’ll take you into mine
We can find a safe place
Where no one can hurt our space
Both our heads filled with so much
We’ll have only each other to judge

Run

Can you fake your way through another smile today?
What happens when you're all alone tonight?

How do you make it through the night with all your fears in full sight?
Beating yourself up even more just looking to pick a fight.

One more step and you're sure to fall
That wall you built around you is coming down upon you.
No place left to run and no place left to hide,
Where do you go from here? How do you change your fate?

You say you want me to stay, then you end up pushing me away.
Back and forth we go round and around, I cant keep living this way.

It's the moments of weakness that pull us together.
It's the moments of selfishness that tear us apart.

You try so hard to play tough, like you've never experienced enough.
Making me wish I could mean more to you.

You can't always be who you want to be, but to me you mean everything.

Stumbling through the dark

I’m stumbling thru the dark,
Reaching out though nothing is there
The constant fear I cant reach you.
Blindly hoping for a sign
But all I feel are the thoughts
Of touching you.

I’m looking for something
That I’m not sure is there to be found
I want so much to hold you
And have you hold me too.
But you’re not there.

I’m stumbling thru the dark,
Reaching out though nothing is there
The constant hope I will find you lingers in the air.
The further the distance, hope turns to loneliness
That turns to desperation.

I’m looking for something
That I’m not sure is there to be found
I want so much to hold you
And have you hold me too.
But you’re not there.
You never were.

Trying to reason with myself
But the open space is so vast
I cant make heads or tails, I’m so lost
Reaching out into the emptiness
One last time, hoping its my last
Hoping to find you here
Next to me.

I’m looking for something
That I’m not sure is there to be found
I want so much to hold you
And have you hold me too.
But you’re not there.
You never were.
You never will be.

Never will be……
Never will be……

RSVP

You show me your soul, I try to see the things you do, but I can’t quite get to where you are. Time can bring me up to speed, but you’ll still be ahead of me.

Falling behind, I feel so blind to your pain. Always three steps back, I try to run to catch up, but it’s been a battle. I’m running up hill towards the stars you’ve seen in your lifetime, but I can’t quite ever reach them.

I want to be where you are
Feeling the same things you’ve felt
Seeing the things that made you scared
Let me feel what you feel when you feel how you feel.
How do you feel?

Chasing your love around, hunting you down. Shining my light in your face, but I can’t get to that place in your heart. There seems to be no room for me.

My lonely heart wants to be a part of an us. I pray one day you’ll be in the same place with me in your sights. Wanting to love me as I try to love you.

I want you to be where I am
Feeling the same things I feel
Seeing the things that make me scared
I want there to be an us. Can we make an us?

I know we can get over your past. Please hear my plea, when will you let down your guard and just let me in. Just let me love you.

Love is simple. Love is blind. Open your heart and open your eyes. Maybe you’ll feel me. Maybe you’ll see me, when you’re ready.

Stay with me tonight and let’s rewrite our story.

“We all break the same”

This Sunday will mark the one year of 'letting someone down'. Someone I admired and hell, even adored for, well, let’s just say a very long time. Why can’t I get over it?

Maybe the harsh way things were left is what eats away at me, almost, daily. Maybe I miss the interesting thoughts and poignant conversations. The points of view helping me guide my own theories along the way, as they have for the years previous, just in a different light. Maybe I think of all the different possibilities that could have been; working towards a common goal.

Telling me I ‘just don’t understand’ for how things spiraled out of hand and then walking away, isn’t an answer. I think of what the answer could be; and the answer changes every time I think about the situation. The final result is that there was never an answer. All I can surmise is that it was just an excuse to be done with the whole situation; so was it my fault in the first place? I guess I will never know. And that too sticks with me every damn day. The failure of it all is just something that doesn’t settle well with me. Don’t think that I’m not mad at myself for what happened. But without an answer, how I can never move on to fix what was broken.

After so many people hurt or screw you over, I can see why 2nd chances are not an option for 1st offenders. Just move on to the next in line, I’m sure there are plenty to choose from. Whether they are better choices, or not, I suppose that will be remain to be seen. It was never my intention to screw anyone over, and I understand how people can disappoint. I know I must have done so, yet, I too was disappointed.

In short, this is my apology to those involved. I expect no sympathy, nor a response, not that anyone involved will even read this or know it exists. But I still will hope/pray for peace and goodwill for them. This is something that I’ve needed to get off my chest. Whether I blame myself or not, isn’t what I’m after here. I’m just here to say ‘sorry’ and that I truly meant it the 1st time I said it.